(Calling all cars, calling all cars...) (Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples) (Wearing a black kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers) (Last seen on Farmers Boulevard headed east) (Alias L.L. Cool J) (He's bad...) Aaaahhhhhhhhhh...
No rapper can rap quite like I can I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand Not the last Mafioso I'm a MC cop Make you say, "Go L.L. and do the wop"
If you think you can outrhyme me, yeah boy I bet Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet Trendsetter I'm better my rhymes are good I got a gourmet plate that says I wish you would
And when rap begin then I gotta join in and Before my rhyme is over you know I'm a win Cool J has arrived so you better make way Ask anybody in the crowd they say the kid don't play!
Sparring competition that's my hobby and job I don't wear a disguise because I don't own the mob Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped So many girls on my jock I think my phone here is tapped
I'm bad (Cool J) (Cool J) (Cool J) (C C C C Cool J J) (Cool J) (C C C C C C C Cool J J J J J)
I'm like Tyson icin' I'm a soldier at war I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more Got concrete rhymes been rappin' for ten years and Even when I'm braggin' I'm bein' sincere
MC's can't win I make 'em rust like tin They call me Jaws my hat is like a shark's fin Because I'm bad as can be got my voice all waxed Some brothers think he's making records now he must have relaxed
I couldn't shouldn't and it'll stay that way The best rapper you've heard is L.L. Cool J Kamikaze take a look at what I've done Used to rock in my basement now I'm number one
And can happen on time never standin' on lime You wanna try me first you better learn how to rhyme I'm the pinnacle that means I reign supreme And I'm notorious I'll crush you like a jelly bean
I eliminate punks cut 'em up in chunks You were souped you heard me and your ego shrunk I'm devastating I'm so good it's a shame Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal they call me insane
I'm as strong as a bull of course you know I am pull I enjoy what I'm doing plus I'm paid in full Not Buckaroo Bonsai but busted out as I Say the kind of rhymes that make MC's withstand I tie
Never retire or put my mike on the shelf The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself Not bitter or mad just provin' I'm bad You want a hit give me a hour plus a pen and a pad
MC's they retreat cause they know I can beat 'em And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em I'm the best takin' out all rookies So forget Oreos eat Cool J coookies
Never ever no never Never wearin' no Levis battle me why try I'll treat you like a stepchild so tell mommy bye bye Sparrin' MC's and I'm a never get with When I retire I'll get worship like a old battleship
L.L. I'm bad other rappers know When I enter the center they say, "Yo, yo there he go!" My paycheck's large Mr. Bogart in charge Not a puncher or hunter from a rap cool large
The original Todd teachin' how to be hard Take the skin off a snake and split a pea from a pod You're a novice I'm noble and I decipher my tongue Not Atilla the Hun but no I'm Threwler his son
My vulture's exact like rack and pinion in a Jag You try to brag you get your rhymes from a grab-bag No good scavenger catfish vulture My tongue's a chisel in this competition sculpture
I'm bad (Think I'm gonna need backup) (Think I'm gonna need backup) (What you need that for?) (Yo this is L.L. Cool J) (And you'll never catch me so don't even try it) (I'm too bad for ya, understand...) Aaaaaahhhh... I'm bad!